Growing up, I always had a feel for the "gothic" aspect of things.
But, I'd never given much thought to the expression of those feelings. Gothic, to me, was framed in the 'cliche viewpoint that most people have - Dracula wannabe's, and sub-cultures of that sort. However life changes and brings change, and getting older can, sometimes, mean becoming wiser about one's own self. Being honest, about who and what we are, how we recieve and percieve our life and the world, and how we want to walk through it. It takes BRUTAL honesty (believe me), because people are so ingrained with the desire to have all things in life (including other people) fit within the comfortable perceptions they use - that they regard with HIGH suspicion, anyone or anything outside of that.
I am not a GOTH - rather, I'm "gothic".
Just as there are every kind of "classification" of people, based upon likes/dislikes, clothing style, musical tastes, movies, and especially religious theology, so too should a person NOT be defined or limited by a "type".
As example, when you hear the word "Christian", you at once form a mental picture that forms your WHOLE mental and emotional response, and incites those positive or negative prejudices that are a part of you. But, Christianity itself is so splintered, and continues to splinter, that your conception is almost always wrong. A person is not a conception. And, as I'll explore in the Goth section, a GOTH is not always "gothic", and a GOTHIC is not always "goth."
In the end, I'm just me. What I think of as a well rounded person, good if not NUTTY sense of humor, liking the whole spectrum of music, movies, books, art, but with a special appreciation for the aspect of life and things that are always (and HAVE always) been there, but for which most people don't WANT to believe exists-lest the rosey aspect be tarnished. I have a VERY low "bulls**t" tolerance level, and hold myself and others accountable for what they do or do not do. I don't blame people for their mistakes or choices - but I do ask them to be honest and willing to be accountable for themselves.
Gothic attitude? Well, appreciation that there is both Black & White, Light & Dark, from which all other shades and hues begin. I have made peace with that, and so I feel, can BETTER see and appreciate the rest. Many Goths or Gothics DO NOT wear mostly black, I choose to because I do like black as a color, and for other personal reasons. Reasons that are personal to each living person that heavily forms their asthetic tastes. So much of what is in a persons heart never does externalize itself, so, please do not condemn me or others, for the VERY little bit, that we have had the honesty, to express openly to life.
(my favorite quote)
WEAKNESS BRINGS YOU TO DEATH'S DOOR - - - STRENGTH GAINS YOU ENTRY.
E-mail me,but, please put
"gothic-iowa" in the subject line :)